Waiting to Pitch

Poem describing how I felt before pitching at Code for the Kingdom Bay Area. See Rejoicing in Absentia for part 2.

hotseat

Anxious waiting, bated breath
Drumbeat heartbeat, racing mind
Blinking, shaking, questioning
If I’m crazy.

Theory, practice,
saying, doing,
knowing, proving, hoping
Grace will be enough.

Sigh of relief
peace to relax
boldness to ask
For the help that I lack.

Outcomes unsure,
is my heart pure?
Puzzling fear,
mockers are near?
Whatever the end,
celebrate with friends.

Poem: In Times of Trouble

I recently found this poem I wrote in 2008. Not the best (I edited it some), but it described my heart at the time. (Please read poetry aloud 🙂 )

In times of trouble God is near
To rescue people he holds dear.

So why should my soul fear?
My holy Father will make things clear.

When knees grow weak and courage falls,
God hides me in his fortress walls.

And when the storms have passed
He leads me out to peace at last.

And when the time of testing comes
God strengthens me with joyful songs,

So I may win the crown
And Jesus’ name shall be renown.


Some related Scriptures (looked up retroactively):

Wet Paper

I found this excerpt from a prayer journal entry on November 11th, 2012.

I feel like a piece of paper,
floating on the surface of a lake,
soaked and shivering in the wind,
tossed about with the waves,
wandering aimlessly with the currents,
on the verge of being ripped at any moment.

Fragile and confused
about whether or not it ought to be content with its lot
or whether it should desire to get swept up by a breeze,
dried off and safely landed on dry land
where the words imprinted on its surface
may be read and benefitted from.

Rake up your memories

Rake up your memories
Fading with time,
Falling like leaves,
Thoughts past their prime.

Tear-drenched,

Sticky,

Wind-worn,

Torn by pain.

Some, bright yellow,
Bring smiles like the sun.

Others, boring brown, are
Mundane piles of daily debris.

Though boring outweigh bright,
And pleasure be obscured by plight,
Don’t throw them all away
Without a second glance,
A second chance to remember:

The grace in every leaf
Becomes the fertile soil
For gratefulness and hope
Which transforms all our toil.

I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
I will ponder all your work,
and meditate on your mighty deeds.
(Psalm 77:11-12)

I Need You Dad

A voice for the children on Father’s Day:
I Need You Dad
On the day I was born in this dangerous world
I needed a power that would fight for my good
A man to provide for my mom and my needs
To clean up my mess when I pooped or I peed
I need you dad.
And as I grew into a boy off to school
I needed a wisdom to teach me what’s true
A man to instruct my curious mind
To discover the truth and share what I find
I need you dad.
And when I met other kids who wanted to play
I needed a hand to send me away
A man to tell me it would be okay
To leave mommy’s side and make friends today
I need you dad.
And when I faced bullies who wanted to fight
I needed a strength in which I could hide
A man to protect me from wicked abuse
To oppose the injustice and take no excuse
I need you dad.
And when I met women who melted my heart
I needed a father to help me be smart
A man to show me what desires are for
To test what I wanted, and needed, and more.
I need you dad.
And when I had failed you and lied to your face
I needed forgiveness, an abundance of grace
A man to show me what God is like
Who gives sinners a safe place to speak truth and not hide
I need you dad.
And when I had fallen captive to sin
I needed a savior to help me to win
A man to point me to victory in Christ
To teach me the gospel and give hope to my life.
I need you dad.
And now that I’m grown up and ready to fly
I need a good mentor to help me see “why?”
A man to reveal my mission and call
To give meaning to life, my passion and all.
I need you dad.